What: #16 Play Drag Queen Bingo
Where:
Five 15 in Royal Oak
When: June 1
Why: Obviously this list isn't an original idea, and I consulted many versions of "things-to-do-before-you
fill in the blank" lists prior to creating my own. My best recollection is that this must have come from one of those. My friends and I tried to go to this place a month or so back, but when we called for reservations, they were booked this far in advance, so I had high hopes for the sort of night we were in for at our first experience with Drag Queen Bingo. Some of my expectations involved big hair and make-up, boisterous personalities, lots of loud humor, probably some disco dancing; I blame the movie "
The Birdcage" for most of my preconceived notions. So, upon entering the venue, it already is at odds with my image because it is clearly a dainty coffee shop, not a raucous bar.
And, there is just
one drag queen. Wearing slippers. And the most shockingly inappropriate use of Disney princess attire that you could imagine. Think of the most innocent sweet little girl pajamas with the images of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White, and then cut the fabric out in certain places and put huge pillows in others. So, the first game gets started, and we realize that despite the catch phrase of "This ain't your grandma's bingo," it really kinda is, except, well, lamer.
Trust me, I spent many years playing bingo with my grandpa and always had a crazy good time with those Floridians. They have a ton of cards to keep track of, methods for choosing lucky ones, a huge variety of ways to win, contagious enthusiasm for the game, and plenty of fun jokes. Contrast that with the amount of money I paid to have one single bingo card, with lame numbers (I didn't even get to pick one with O-69!), assigned seating away from my other friends, the non-stop jokes that mixed lame bingo witticisms with crude humor, and the whole thing was more awkward for totally different reasons than I expected.
 |
| I actually feared I might win! |
Our queen seemed to be going through the motions, which it turns out was much better than her/his attitude post-intermission. She/he came back, proclaimed "I'm just doing my job now, Bob", and then simply read off bingo numbers one after the other for the next 5-10 minutes, ignoring the polite requests and desperate pleas from the crowd to liven it back up (ie: "get over it!"), until finally someone won, putting us out of our misery, and that was the end of our night. Seriously. We all speculated what had upset her/him, but unanimously decided that, as a professional, if any of us got pissed at work, we'd have to continue with our jobs that day in a professional capacity, particularly if your job is as an entertainer for crying out loud. As my one friend said, we expected it to be a weird night, but for totally different reasons. Needless to say, we had to go out for a drink afterwards to process what we had all just been through at our first (sadly, probably last) Drag Queen Bingo experience. At least I had my girls with me who salvaged the night with their awesome company!
Why: There just haven't been many occasions I've been a part of that called for a bottle of champagne; or maybe to clarify, we just didn't ever have one on hand for all the awesome moments. So, I felt that celebrating with a big "POP" of the cork from the bottle was a mark of a really good time. I got my chance as a group of us toasted my friend's birthday. I'll admit that I was quite nervous that I might: break a window, bust a light fixture, hit someone in the eye, give myself a black eye, burst the bottle, and the list goes on. But, I went for it, definitely shrieked a bit when it finally flew off, but had a blast doing it!
Why: Other than a catered housewarming party when I moved in years ago, I have not been the hostess of any other gathering. I'm just not the hostess type. My skills are not those of a domestic individual. I keep a nice home, I feed myself, I decorate in my own way, but party planning does not appeal to me. Lately, however, I've felt that I wanted a chance to get some of my friends from different circles together to mingle and used the idea I found in a magazine to construct a party idea to do it. It was a clothes swap, something some of my friends and I do very informally on lots of occasions, but nothing ever formal. Today changed that! Everyone was encouraged to bring up to 10 items they were tired of wearing, but that were still perfectly good pieces and would be a fresh addition to our closets.
And, there is just one drag queen. Wearing slippers. And the most shockingly inappropriate use of Disney princess attire that you could imagine. Think of the most innocent sweet little girl pajamas with the images of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White, and then cut the fabric out in certain places and put huge pillows in others. So, the first game gets started, and we realize that despite the catch phrase of "This ain't your grandma's bingo," it really kinda is, except, well, lamer.
Trust me, I spent many years playing bingo with my grandpa and always had a crazy good time with those Floridians. They have a ton of cards to keep track of, methods for choosing lucky ones, a huge variety of ways to win, contagious enthusiasm for the game, and plenty of fun jokes. Contrast that with the amount of money I paid to have one single bingo card, with lame numbers (I didn't even get to pick one with O-69!), assigned seating away from my other friends, the non-stop jokes that mixed lame bingo witticisms with crude humor, and the whole thing was more awkward for totally different reasons than I expected.
